Penetrating the Exposed Life of a Pick-up Artist

Negs. AFC. The Apocalypse opener.

While unfamiliar to the average person, these terms hold much more meaning to the modern male pick-up artist (PUA). Based around the notion that any male individual, regardless of height, weight or other limiting factors, has the power to seduce any woman he chooses. Using developed, somewhat science-based guidelines, men have chosen to confide in the way of the PUA to attain the desired mate. Furthermore, dedicated PUAs have gone beyond the concept of seducing women and turned the world of pick-up into a lifestyle in which they confide in.

In an attempt to turn the art of seducing the opposite sex into a logical fact-based science, a private online forum was created. In this forum a group of men dissected male-female interaction, leaving nothing out. From how long it should take to respond to a text message to how to handle a compliment, these men made sure to cover all the bases. Furthermore, all suggestions and advice were considered invaluable information unless "field-tested" on many accounts to ensure the effectiveness and success of such methods. Ideas and theories were compiled and rule books and encyclopedias were formed. These men were determined to turn sexual attraction into a science that anyone can master.

Pick-up can be classified as a subculture like any other. There are guidelines that dictate whether one is a PUA or an average frustrated chump, or AFC as it is referred to in the pick-up community. But while classifications can be made and arguments can be held as to who is the best PUA, there is one overlooked concept in the pick-up society: pick-up is merely a support group for males.

In modern society, women are considered to be the males’ object of desire, the prize of the competition. So the obvious idea is that women are the choosers, and men are the chosen. This fact is what makes it so hard for males to do well in male-female interactions. For the most part, men can control what career they have, what car they drive, and where they live. But the one thing they can not control is women being attracted to them. As many men have come to this realization, they have grown frustrated.

PUAs across the country meet for an annual Pick-up Artist Summit Meeting. At these meetings they would discuss new techniques, review old material, and hold registration for future in-field workshops. Pick-up had become a highly organized subject.

In-field workshops consist of five to six students interested in learning pick-up. They are led by mPUAs (master PUAs) who’s only source of credibility is their rank on the forums and performance in the field. The “field”, or classroom, consisted of either a set of night clubs, bars, malls or any other places of public gathering. The students get a de-briefing on what is expected from them as they head out to the field. While in the field, they accomplish tasks such as greeting people as they pass by or starting a conversation with a random person. Every detail of the student’s performance is noted by the mPUA. Additionally, the mPUA will occasionally whisper words of advice and encouragement to the pupils as they are completing tasks. The workshop is then followed by a post-briefing in which the mPUA gives his insight on their performance. A four days workshop is an average of $500. Of course, these workshops are not accredited by any governing body. They have no empirical evidence of success, yet men across the country are willingly paying top dollar to improve their “game“.

The concept of having “game” is universal: the man with the most game is the man who can effectively seduce the most women. However, game is broken down into two categories: indirect and direct game. Indirect game is the more popular of the two. It teaches the powerful effect of subtlety and comfort building. Rather than seeming to approach women for the sole purpose of attraction, they are approached for the time, or for directions, or perhaps a restaurant recommendation. The key to indirect game is to put yourself in a position in which you can smoothly segway into casual conversation, thus furthering your chances of seducing the target (the approached woman).

Direct game consists of getting straight to the point. When approaching targets, students are taught to cut the chase and make sure the target is aware of your intentions from the initial moments of contact. The key to direct game is confidence; anything is a good pick-up line so long as it is delivered with confidence. This remains the overwhelmingly unpopular route.

Pick-up goes beyond the workshops and the ideology of direct vs. indirect game. PUAs communicate through a series of acronyms and phrases. Just by referring to women as “targets” gives the PUA the mindset of a man on a mission, so to speak. They are taught that women should “be rewarded for good behavior”. And should be “frozen-out” when exhibiting bad behavior. Bad behavior includes things such as speaking out of turn, ignoring the PUA, or showing signs of LMR (last minute resistance). The world of pick-up is complex and well organized.

From Cosmopolitan magazine to the Tyra Banks show, women have many means of support to turn to. However, outside of the medically professional realm, men have nothing to rely on for advice on relationships and social life. Constructing guidelines on how to approach and deal with the opposite sex does more than tell men what to do, it gives them something to take comfort in. It lets them put their confidence in someone else rather than themselves; online forums were just the beginning.

Young girls are always taught to be “lady like” so “the boys can like them”. Then in high school society pressures them into constantly maintaining their image, for the boys. And even in adulthood, women are faced with mainstream media and shows like Sex and the City which remind them to look good for the boys. It is undeniable that -consciously or subconsciously- females are constantly being educated on how to attract the opposite sex. While it can be argued that males are also conditioned in the laws of attraction, males are undoubtedly far less conditioned than women.

Neil Strauss, author of best-seller The Game, goes under the pen name “Style” in online forums. Thought of as the guru of pick-up, Style is known for giving advice on the field. He does tackle smaller, specific situations, but his underlying ideology is always the same: confidence is the key. Another guru of this science, Tyler Durden, believes in using different methods, but still believes that confidence is the main part of the equation. Ross Jeffries, noted for his extensive work in the field of neuro-linguistic programming, also includes confidence as part of the overall routine. David DeAngelo is another PUA-turned-scholar who coined the term “cocky-funny”, or “C/F”. C/F is the idea of using your confidence to evoke humor from the target. It teaches to use negs (back handed insults) in order to lower the value of the target thus making it easier for attraction to occur. He preaches that attraction will only happen if the PUA’s value is higher than that of the target. Again, we see that it boils down to a confidence issue.

Can we argue that pick-up is not as scientific as it is made out to be? Was the pick-up community created in an effort to give unconfident men something to place their trust in? By creating terms and guidelines to follow, have the PUA pioneers created a false sense of hope for troubled men? Is it fair that women are conditioned to have more knowledge on attraction than men? Furthermore, is it immoral to even create a community for unconfident males based on manipulating women for the sole purpose of seduction?

The following testimony was taken from Social Skills Institute: “I also just finished a 1-on-1 bootcamp this weekend with Magic, and I'm blown away. I didn't think I could alter my behavior, attitude, thought processes, and body language as rapidly as I have this weekend. I feel like a totally different person when I'm in a club now.”